Your dashboard: what to ride next, your distance, and every way to ride.
A live virtual cycling race series.
Bring your smart trainer.
We bring the
dudes.
“I trained 12 weeks. Then a cartoon man with bigger calves crushed me. 5 stars.”
Pair any smart trainer over Bluetooth. We listen for watts, cadence, speed, and heart rate. If it talks to Zwift, it talks to us.
Clip in, fire up the screen, and start pedaling. Lobbies open 30 minutes before game time — plenty of time to tandem up.
Pair up with another dude: two riders, one bike. It takes brains and quads to win — and we’re not detecting a lot of brains. Mullet recommended. The Twins that Win already have their chosen partner, and they’ve been winning for a while.
Season 2 is live. The big change? Prizes! Events stamped
on the event have prizes. See the
prize terms for how it
works.
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A smart trainer with ANT+ or Bluetooth, plus a bike. Phone, tablet, or laptop runs the show.
Hell yes. Half the riders on the poster are women, and they’ve got bigger calves than you. “Dude” is gender-neutral around here. Got quads and a sense of humor? You’re a dude.
This is a good resource. So is the Discord. Community member Glute M. claims he saved big on his craigslist rollers setup with after-market sensors to turn it into a smart trainer, but deep down he knows how much he spent in tires and time. Still, there's no denying rollers are cool. Padded bike underwear is worth a callout as truly optional, and when you need it you'll know it, we hope.
Hell yes (do you see the pattern?). See Wheaton's Law, and don't make us make another FAQ entry.
Recommended but not required. Speed-only sensors work fine for casual races.
Hell yes! Anything that pairs over standard Bluetooth FTMS will pair with us. Zwift, Rouvy, MyWhoosh, etc. are awesome examples with their own setup guides if you're looking for gear suggestions as well as a damn good bike trainer experience.
Hell yes! Although somewhat of a setup requiring two devices. You need the QZ (qDomyos-Zwift) app to retransmit the Peloton as standard Bluetooth FTMS to your 2nd device running the game. Ask in the Discord if you need help.
Free during beta. Free after beta. We'll make it up in merch — specifically the Two Dudes One Chamois bib shorts, available in sizes S through "stopped counting."
Nope, we're not that kind of business and never will be. Win-win is the truth, and the truth is now. We don't use it, it's not for sale, and it's not accessible, not even your email. We were actually serious on the sick merch (coming soon). (you can connect to Strava and save your workout data there if you choose)
You already did. We don't send emails. Now get pedaling!
Leave your dignity at the door.
Sign in to race, RSVP to events, and track your dudes.
Host a game to generate a code, or join with an existing game code.
None yet.
No events scheduled.
Add a dude
Add dudes by their exact display name.
Your dudes
No incoming dude friend requests.
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No pending dude friend requests sent.
Guided walkthroughs. Replay one any time — in case the first pass didn’t stick, or you just enjoyed it. We won’t ask.
What you’re actually doing out there in each mode the host can pick. The classic walkthrough runs in a real game shell; the rest are quick text explainers — no race needed.
Pick which game view loads when you start a race. Other players in the same race can use a different view — crossplay just works.
Shows a small in-race panel with frame rate, frame times, memory, and long tasks. Handy if a race feels slow or choppy.
In a normal race your best time at that distance rides along as a see-through ghost that only you can see. Beat Your Best is the mode that pays a bonus for a new best.
Link your Strava account to save rides after each race.
If you think we’re making anything close to a living wage on this, we like where your head is at. Thanks for the support. Check back in 7 years after we’ve bankrupted multiple investment firms with variations of this idea until finally pivoting to an investment pump n dump ponzi scheme, I mean crypto platform, that is a financially successful “valuable business” hiring harder than a corrupt government official on an island somewhere. Until then and after then, the best things in life are free baby! Now get pedaling!
Everything admin-only, in one place. Cards marked ↗ open a standalone tool page.
Creates the next 8 weeks of Sunday 8 AM PT rides, skipping any that already exist.
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There's a two-minute tour of the race screen. Fake bots, real buttons. You can decline. People do.
A 30-second sensor check before you race — confirm your power meter, cadence, and heart-rate monitor are all reporting before you're mid-race. You can decline.
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